A Topic Revisited, Reinvigorated, Re-assimilated. (Shout to Pachenga)

I embarked on a short-lived adventure this evening with my brother to celebrate his 22nd birthday, and have a few Jamesons.  Due to his birthday falling on Christmas Eve, it’s always hard to plan something, so we just went out to Rockville Centre to have a quick one after my friends Christmas party.  As we walked into the first bar (known for it’s 10 cent wings) I noticed how every girl looked exactly how I pictured them to.  A little beat up from the harsh weather of sorority life, ex-football star boyfriends, heavy boozing, occasional cocaine binges, parliament lights, lack of balance, ” like, a rhaman noodle every night budget” (shout to Allstate), and bad hip-hop.  The dudes were all Doppelgangers of their bar-stool neighbors.  Withered Abercrombie caps that date back to when they listened to Oasis, Bud light in hand, obnoxious laugh, high five-giving, dude-saying, pathfinder-driving douche bags named “Tucker” who can rattle off stats of 20 college Lacrosse players without even taking a breath to smell their Curve cologne.  Needless to say, we left there before my Stella Artois even had a chance to sound classy.  We strolled across the street to another province of “RVC”, which oozed 808′s out the front door; sometimes loud enough to hear the bars of an overpaid, under-skilled pretty-boy who does songs based on how much richer & better he is than you, and somehow coerces you into singing along.

 

“I guess it really is just me, myself & all my poverty/” 

I touch on this subject very often because I cannot fathom how mainstream hip-pop radio stations even retain enough support to play a song more than 25 times in one day.  Granted, I listened to NY HH stations when I was younger.  You know, when they would play an O.C. record at 3pm on a friday.  To be honest, if I heard Group Home ” Living Proof” more than ‘Thrice’, (not counting the 6 thousand times Flex would bring it back and drop bombs all over it)  there is a good chance I wouldn’t have bought their album out of pure agitation.  What is the point of having multiple “DJ’s” spin in different airtime slots if they all play the same 5 records?  I heard Clearchannel gives these stations a playlist that they are to play rain, sleet, hail or snow….do to legal payola.  I also heard George W. Bush hired Dick Cheney to clip his hunting buddy despite the botched hit.

 

I do enjoy a good conspiracy theory as much as the next person being who has their cellphone tapped. (I kid.)

 

However, I don’t think this epidemic is so malicious.  I think a guy like Dj Clue will hear Mister Cee playing a new J Cole record 5 times in his hour set, and come to the conclusion that this is what people want.  Let’s be honest.  People don’t know what they want.  Sheeople tend to follow.  Even if they are following the decisions brought to light by a rectangle table, occupied by men in black, who’s collection of rap songs in their home stereos consists of Cab Calloway.

 

“Bla Bla Bla ‘Dope102.16″ Where Hip-Hop Dies” gladly obliges.  They even have the balls to get amped before they play something for the 10th time.  I have to believe that SOME of these Dj’s are dishing out songs they know people love already, pressing mute in the radio studio, and nodding their heads to O.C.’s “Word…Life”.   While the millions of listeners are memorizing Drake rhymes about womanizing, or the ‘people around him’ catching a body (which is the equivalent of Audio Two saying ‘ I got a great big body guard’)…I am just sitting there in an ignorance induced state of catatonia.  This guy even goes as far to say “You gon make ME catch a body like that.”  So if he tells a white lie about catching a body, catching brain, or even catching a football with those fruity hands of his..  we must pardon him because he is after all.. “The realest mother fucker in the game right now”.

 

This nonsense is the reason that true hip hop fans need to stop downloading music from guys who aren’t backed up by The Machine.  We all argue with imbeciles on the internet screaming out how they know NOTHING about our art and it’s true masters, yet we do NOTHING to help these same artists prosper.  Instead we download their albums, and avoid seeing them live (It’s almost as if we hate them.)  The average true hip hop fan takes the shit pathetically seriously though.  For future reference Hip Hop nerds, I have had enough of trying to watch Lord Finesse videos and scrolling down only to find out someone believes it absolutely necessary to mention how Lord Finesse would destroy  Lil’ Wayne in a battle.  It is the same thing as mentioning Justin Beiber’s name under a Beatles video.

 

“13 people are NOT the Walrus”… Shut the fuck up herb, go try to find Bigfoot.

 

“I must be too strung out on competence/ Overdosed on Lozenges/ Shooting in the daylight I haven’t turned on my contra-since/ Vic keep it filthy, I have never got my tonka’s-rinsed/ On the montauk beach and I ain’t looking for monster-prints/”  – Dumb shit.